I Am Good (And So Are You)

I'm ever trying to understand myself, why I work the way I do, why I think certain ways or act certain ways. I've gained a greater grasp on who I am as over the past few years as I've been able to identify with and gain greater understanding of certain aspects of my personality such as being highly sensitive and introverted. I recently did a short Meyers Briggs personality test to find that I am INFJ or ISFJ - depending on the moment. I know that I'm going to look further into it to, because I like explanations, I like to know why things work the way they do, especially my own heart and mind. I like to know myself and to be able to say, "This is who I am."
I thought I had a pretty good grasp on my identity as a whole. But recently, I met someone, and as she talked about herself, who she was and what she was good at, I realized that I was mentally framing my identity in response to what she was saying - "you're tough? well, I'm tougher!" I wasn't so confident in myself that I didn't feel challenged by who she was and try to label myself to come out on top. As I realized what I was doing, it threw me through a loop. How did I all of a sudden not know who I am? Why am I trying to make myself fit in and around this other person instead of just being able to acknowledge our differences and knowing that who I am is good, just as who she is is good? I don't want to be changing and altering according to whoever is currently across the table from me.
Apparently, I have some figuring out still to do, some things that I still need to see where I actually identify, and perhaps some old labels to shed. Once upon a time, if someone had called me girly, I would have rebelled against it, but I have an earring collection to rival any woman, love a good red lipstick, enjoy having fresh flowers on my counter, and have made my peace with at least a few shades of pink. I still wouldn't identify myself as girly, but I'm thoroughly feminine.
I struggle to find areas where I feel skilled or accomplished, in part due to my perfectionist nature, but I need to seek that out too, to recognize and acknowledge where I do well. Heck, I think I'm a pretty decent writer, even if I rarely take time for it. I can sing a hymn with full throated passion. I can schedule the shiznit out of stuff and organize cupboards, a room, your desk with precision. I can read aloud with excellence. I have a creativity that allows me to come up with unusual uses for objects, or more often, find a make-it-work (and hopefully even look nice) solution for needs we have with things already in our house. (Like our storage bin bed frame in the guest room. Something to put the mattress on, and a place to keep the bins. Win, win.) And, I'm a good mama. That identification I need to step into. I have so much trouble calling myself a good mom and not feeling just mediocre. But I am and I need to own it. Not perfect, but good.
My challenge for myself is one I give to you - know yourself and know that you are good. Maybe you're more girly, or less girly, than me. Maybe you love chick flics, or just action movies. Maybe you can't wait to be outside each day, or you'd would rather curl up and watch your favorite show. Maybe getting dolled up in fancy dress is your cup tea, or maybe you'd rather die than wear a skirt. Maybe baseball is your greatest love, or maybe you couldn't throw a ball from first to second. Maybe you do crafts with your kids every week, or maybe the idea makes you groan with boredom. Or maybe you're somewhere in the middle of each. Who you are is good.
Remember too that there will always be someone who is more than you - more girly, more sporty, more arty, more goth, more outdoorsy - whatever you identify with. When you find those people remember - who you are is good. It's not a competition, you have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid, don't be beaten in your spirit. They may be more whatever, but that doesn't mean that you as a person are less. Who you are is good and well loved by the one who knit you together.